VIDEO: How to handle hot-potato election issues at Thanksgiving dinner

Climate change, corruption, the Trans Mountain pipeline? Dig in.

Some of the food from a Thanksgiving dinner from Martha & Marley Spoon in New York in 2016. THE CANADIAN PRESS/AP Photo/Bree Fowler

Some of the food from a Thanksgiving dinner from Martha & Marley Spoon in New York in 2016. THE CANADIAN PRESS/AP Photo/Bree Fowler

Politics will likely be on the table when Nick Difruscio joins his family for Thanksgiving dinner this weekend, and that has the Ryerson University student bracing for heated discussions alongside turkey and gravy.

Like many families, the 17-year-old business management major says his relatives are divided politically — some are business owners who lean towards the right, while others prioritize social health care and lean left.

Their conflicting views can turn dinner into a minefield with the federal election around the corner on Oct. 21.

“It is very divisive, and it always comes up. It always gets really awkward around the table,” says Difruscio, whose family is in Niagara Falls, Ont.

“It’s always (someone who) says something that goes a little bit too far, and it goes quiet. Everybody just kind of sits there.”

Depending on the company, hot potatoes such as climate change, corruption, and the Trans Mountain pipeline are generally best left off the table, say various etiquette experts, but forthose who look forward to expressing their positions on issues they care about there is a way to keep things respectful.

It’s unlikely your guests have much appetite for a screaming match, notes Leanne Pepper, general manager and protocol consultant for the Faculty Club, a private event space on the University of Toronto campus.

She advises declaring politics off-limits when the invitations are sent, and asking guests to come ready to share what they’re thankful for this year.

People get emotional when talking to close family, especially with the wine flowing, she says, reminding hosts to avoid seating combative guests near each other.

“You might want to hide the (lawn) signs over the Thanksgiving weekend. You don’t want to trigger that right off the bat,” she jokes.

The host should set the tone, says Pepper, and be ready with an anecdote or fresh conversation topics in case innocuous chit-chat starts to run off the rails.

Michael Morden, research director of the Samara Centre for Democracy, says political debate is good for democracy and he encourages families to discuss issues of the day — with civility.

His non-partisan charity surveyed Canadians earlier this year and found people were discussing politics more than they were in the lead-up to the 2015 federal election.

Researchers asked Canadians what topics they didn’t want to talk about, especially with people they disagree with, and found fewer than 15 per cent felt compelled to avoid contentious topics.

But the issues that made them the most skittish included abortion, immigration, multiculturalism, Indigenous issues, and sexual harassment and the Me Too movement.

Morden encourages participants to explain in detail what they believe and why.

“Most issues are actually pretty complicated and we don’t usually make space for that nuance in our arguments. When we actually have to think through the mechanics, we realize that we don’t know as much as we thought we did and that makes us more inclined to listen and to learn.”

If things do get contentious, etiquette coach Louise Fox says you may have to bite your tongue. Some people just want to bait others into an argument, and a family reunion is not the time.

READ MORE: Should voting be mandatory in federal elections?

“Sometimes you have to say those platitudes like, ‘Oh, that’s pretty interesting.’ ‘Oh, I never thought of that,’ rather than, ‘I don’t like this,’” says Fox.

“It’s all right to have opinions, but if they’re going to lead to arguments, avoid them and try to keep things light and celebratory. A sense of humour is your biggest asset when the going gets tough.”

The Canadian Press

Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

Just Posted

An example of what a mural would look like on the back wall on Ron’s Bait and Tackle Store which faces the courtyard and sidewall. The mural photos shown here are mock-ups of existing artwork on walls of interest in the downtown core to build anticipation within the community about the concept of murals. The KPAA will not necessarily be using these locations or this artwork for the actual murals. (KPAA photo)
Kitimat Public Art Alliance mural funding request denied

D’Andrea suggested she will come back to the council at a later date with a more concrete plan

L-R: Vanessa Cuoto, Montana Murray, Connor Best, Dawn Best, Natalia Lopez, Thomas Walton, and Charlotte Collier partaking in the clean-up Kitimat campaign on May 28. (Katie Peacock photo)
Kitimat’s MStar Hotel brings out staff’s competitive clean-up side

The hotel staff circulated the Big Spruce Trailhead and picked up as much garbage as they could

Kitimat’s Water Quality Advisory, which has been in place for just over a week, has been lifted. (Black Press file photo)
Water Quality Advisory in Kitimat lifted

The district has been under a Water Quality Advisory since June 2

On June 16 at 6 p.m., the Kitimat Chamber of Commerce will be hosting a public presentation and discussion with Happipad, a social enterprise, to talk about solutions for affordable housing Kitimat. (Happipad photo)
Affordable housing to be focus of Kitimat Chamber of Commerce meeting

Figures indicate the average Kitimat household needs to make more than $92,000 a year

(District of Kitimat logo)
Hirsch Creek Bridge restricted to single lane traffic

The district is restricting the bridge traffic to legal highway loads only

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau participates in a plenary session at the G7 Summit in Carbis Bay, England on Friday June 11, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Adrian Wyld
Canada donating 13M surplus COVID-19 vaccine doses to poor countries

Trudeau says the government will pay for 87 million shots to be distributed to poor countries

Montreal Canadiens goaltender Carey Price (31) is scored on by Vegas Golden Knights defenseman Alec Martinez, not pictured, during the second period in Game 1 of an NHL hockey Stanley Cup semifinal playoff series Monday, June 14, 2021, in Las Vegas. (AP Photo/John Locher)
Habs fall 4-1 to Vegas Golden Knights in Game 1 of NHL semifinal series

Match was Montreal’s first game outside of Canada in 2021

Kelowna-Lake Country MLA Norm Letnick, assistant deputy speaker at the B.C. legislature, presides over committee discussions. The legislature is completing its delayed spring session this week, with most MLAs participating by video conference. (Hansard TV)
B.C.’s daily COVID-19 infections dip below 100 over weekend

Only 68 new cases recorded Monday, four additional deaths

The BC Ferries website went down for a short while Monday morning following a provincial announcement that recreational travel between health authorities can resume Tuesday. (Black Press Media file photo)
BC Ferries’ website crashes in wake of provincial reopening announcement

Website back up now, recreational travel between health regions to resume as of Tuesday

The Kamloops Indian Residential School is photographed using a drone in Kamloops, B.C., Monday, June, 14, 2021. The remains of 215 children were discovered buried near the former school earlier this month. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jonathan Hayward
Communities grapple with what to do with former residential and day schools

Some tear them down as a tool to help healing, others repurpose them as tools for moving forward

FILE – Provincial health officer Dr. Bonnie Henry talks about B.C.’s plan to restart the province during a press conference at Legislature in Victoria, Tuesday, May 25, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Chad Hipolito
B.C. watching U.K.’s COVID struggles but don’t think province will see similar pitfalls

Studies show that one dose of vaccine is only 33 per cent effective in preventing B.1.617.2 spread

RCMP Const. Shelby Patton is shown in this undated handout photo. RCMP say that Patton was hit by an allegedly stolen truck that he had pulled over on Saturday morning in Wolseley, east of Regina. THE CANADIAN PRESS/HO, RCMP
Pair charged in Saskatchewan Mountie’s death make first court appearance

Const. Shelby Patton was hit by an allegedly stolen truck that he had pulled over Saturday morning

David and Collet Stephan leave for a break during an appeal hearing in Calgary on Thursday, March 9, 2017. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Todd Korol
Appeal Court rejects stay for Alberta couple facing third trial in son’s death

Pair accused in their earlier trials of not seeking medical attention for their son sooner

Highway notices like this come down effective June 14. Public health restrictions on non-essential travel and commercial operation have hit local businesses in every corner of B.C. (B.C. government)
Province-wide travel back on in B.C.’s COVID-19 restart plan

Gathering changes include up to 50 people for outdoor events

Most Read