Sometimes a bit too much in the news to keep up

Columnist Allan Hewitson weighs on on the multitude of stories in the news this week.

Sometimes a column writer gets a little out of his depth and can’t fix focus on a single subject for the week. It seems nice and simple – there’s always something fascinating going on that one can comment on.

Some weeks however, there’s just far too much stimulus.

This is just one of these weeks for me – NHL lockout, Parliament resumes amid multiple accusations, there will be no B.C. Legislative session, the middle east is on fire over a dubious video, royals are topless, nude and fighting back, there’s a presidential election looming and Mitt Romney seems to be running through an NFL tire exercise and tripping every minute, separatists are back in Quebec, MPs are thinking about talking about their gold-plated pensions, home sales in Vancouver and Toronto are stumbling, pipelines are not popular, the price of gas suddenly shot up… How much better can it get?

I kind of liked finding out that the “most interesting man in the world,” the grizzled Dos Equis beer drinker, says he doesn’t often vote – but when he does it’s for Obama. This is a statement of fact from a commercial actor, one Jonathan Goldsmith.

But reaction was swift when he hosted a fundraiser for President Obama – on Facebook pages of former fans decided to quit toasting with him.

Thousands more, however also added invented new items to his legend – (well worth a read – Facebook, Dos Equis.)

A couple I liked were “He has no problem releasing his tax returns,” and “Google search is a directory of everything he knows.” Some 4,379 people “liked” his airline announcement that “drinks would start at five.” You see, browsing the internet can be educational.

Got my Canadian Tire flyer on the weekend – I was considering buying a tire stand for storing tires in my garage, but I was put off by a little cautionary note on the flyer, “tires not included.”  Hiss, boo!

I’ve seen this in various other ads with similar “warnings” but why Canadian Tire feels it necessary to tell customers no phones are included with protective cell phone covers and no tools come included with a tool cart is beyond me.

The photo ad for a gun cabinet reminds us that contents are for display purposes only. Are there people who don’t know this?

Remember all our favourite old western movies – where the bad guys are heading for the Mexican border and safety from pursuit by the law. Well, there’s a manhunt on for 130 prisoners who got away in a mass breakout from a Mexican jail – close to the Texas border. They tunnelled out. More like “The Great Escape” – but will they head north or south? Most I expect will go east to Texas. Now there’s a big border.

Meanwhile, 40 guards and the prison governor were arrest after an armed gang helped 53 prisoners escape from another Mexican jail. This one sounds like they had designated drivers.

I haven’t been to Mexico since 1972 and it’s not on my bucket list.

Have you ever Googled “Zombie apocalypse.” No, neither have I but it’s reported to be the third most frequent entry on the search engine.

Come on!

I have been ticked off on visits to the public library in the last couple of years – and finding so many new books about zombies and vampires, in particular, and about mythical new worlds and multiple Kingdoms and empires. It all used to kind of fall under one or two headlines – mythology and science fiction.

But now vampires are being cast as romantic creatures – and zombies (the undead walking) are all the rage in books, television and movies — and to tell the truth, I’m about “up to here” with it all.

Continued on page 5

To read that the U.S. Centre for Disease Control has actually released a statement that zombies don’t really exist, in the wake of a rash of cannibalistic “attacks” in North America (yes, Luca Magnotta may be one of them) I find takes the cake.

It doesn’t stop a U.S security firm, HALO Corp. from announcing  about 1,000 military personnel, police officials, medical experts and federal workers will learn the ins and outs of a zombie apocalypse, as part of an annual counter-terrorism summit, according to the Military Times.

Who says there’s nothing new under the sun?

ahewitson@telus.net

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