(Facebook/Find Ben Kilmer)

(Facebook/Find Ben Kilmer)

B.C. man’s disappearance galvanized Vancouver Island

A look back at the search that tore at the fabric of a young family and close-knit friends

“Keep in your heart at all times that Ben, when he returns home safely, will be looking at this site to see the out-pour of support and incredibleness of our community. He will be found so let us create a place of love, care and respect.

“His babies will also come here when they are old enough to see how their community came together to show their love and unwavering support to bring their daddy home.”

It is the keynote message of the Facebook page “Find Ben Kilmer,” a page launched in May in the wake of a mystery that galvanized a community and tore at the fabric of a young family and close-knit network of friends, a page that grew to include more than 14,500 followers.

It is also the page that on Oct. 24 delivered the unfortunate news: Ben Kilmer — husband, father and subject of one of the biggest searches to unite Vancouver Island in recent memory — would not be coming home.

RELATED: Family confirms Ben Kilmer found dead

In life, Kilmer — most frequently described as a friend, family man and lover of the great outdoors — was anything but a public figure.

But in his disappearance he became a rallying point for Vancouver Islanders from Cape Scott to Race Rocks, for whom he came to symbolize the good things in life and how suddenly they can be stripped away.

“I have no personal connection to this family but from the day he went missing I was holding out hope that this seemingly happy and healthy man would be returned to his wife and children. I can’t imagine this outcome has offered any closure for those who loved him. I am so sorry to all who knew and loved Ben. Sending love and healing vibes your way.”

Posted to “Find Ben Kilmer” by “Sher Riffic” (whose profile picture features missing Campbell River teen Jordan Holling), the above sentiment has been repeated again and again, not only today and online, but on the street and in the woods since the day Ben was last seen.

A Cobble Hill-based electrician, Ben was 41, husband to Tonya and father to two young children when he went to work May 16. Later that afternoon, his white work van was found parked, engine running, on the side of Old Lake Cowichan Road in a heavily-treed rural area west of town.

His personal effects were left in the vehicle. Blood (the source of which was never confirmed) was also found inside. But the owner was nowhere to be seen.

RELATED: Friends and family playing huge role in Kilmer search

Cowichan Search and Rescue was immediately called in, and had a search mobilized within an hour. Its numbers were quickly bolstered with an RCMP dog team and neighbouring SAR units from Ladysmith, Juan de Fuca, Saanich Peninsula, Salt Spring Island and Nanaimo. Volunteers went door to door, asking area residents to check garages and outbuildings. One agreed to drain his pond.

The experts were quickly joined by regular citizens, eager to help comb the area and expand the search. Their assistance was rallied through social media, where Tonya urged anyone who could to come and help with the search.

“I believe in every ounce of my being that we are close,” she posted. “I need drones, helicopters, planes!! Anything and everything! He is there!”

Ben was last seen on a Tuesday. By that Saturday, 119 convergent volunteers signed in at the Sahtlam Fire Hall, where the search was being coordinated. Others, including some using ATVs and dirt bikes, checked the hills and river valley independent of the two coordinated searches. Friends set up a GoFundMe page aimed at hiring a private helicopter to help with the search.

Searchers were provided with gloves, safety kits and food donated by individuals and businesses from around the Island. Items like camping chairs, signs and posters were also donated. A volunteer in Ottawa organized a sign campaign. At least one man drove from as far as Calgary to help with the ground search.

The sustained degree of volunteer support caught search manager Shauneen Nichols off guard.

“It’s unusual for us,” she admitted. “I’ve experienced this on the short term but this is just amazing, to see it day in and day out.”

But after more than 1,000 hours and 16 square kilometres of searching passed with no sign of Ben, the active SAR campaign was halted. Friends and family continued to look, but without any leads, their efforts increasingly focused on other avenues.

A poster campaign that saw more than 70,000 copies distributed made Ben’s one of the most recognizable faces on the Island. Speculation — not all of it kind, or rooted in the evidence — flowed over social media. Some of it centred around a pair of similar-aged men who mysteriously disappeared the same day in Ucluelet, but no connection was ever made.

The couple’s 16th anniversary passed on June 1 with no answers.

RELATED: Ben Kilmer’s wife makes impassioned plea

A little over a month later, Tonya gave an impassioned plea for leads during a press conference at the RCMP’s Island District headquarters.

“We are devastated. We are broken without this man. He is everything, the core of our family,” she said as tears flowed and her voice cracked. “His love for us is unwavering. His devotion is unquestionable. His loss has shaken us to the core and I need our love to shake you also, so that no one remains silent, so that no amount of fear to come forward exists.”

But summer passed without news and the steady stream of Facebook chatter grew quiet.

Until Oct. 17.

Tonya said she received the news from North Cowichan/Duncan RCMP at 9 p.m. when Staff Sgt. Kurt Bosnell and Const. Scott Harder came to her door.

“The officers said, ‘We promised you that you would be the first to know. We received a call at 2 p.m. today. Ben had been found. He is no longer with us. ‘

RELATED: Tonya Kilmer grieves, thanks community

Ben’s body was found in the bush by a hiker. Vancouver Island RCMP spokesperson Cpl. Tammy Douglas said its location was“well outside of the original search area.” Foul play was not suspected.

The news was released to the public today, sparking a massive outpouring of support across many social media platforms, whether from those who knew Ben, those who helped in the search, or those simply touched while watching from afar.

The requiem we leave to Tonya:

“I love you my friends. Please reach out to me whenever you need to. Know that I am being cared for by my friends and family and that my children breathe life into me daily. I am here for you, just as you are here for me. Ben has touched all of our lives in such a profound way. We are truly in this together. If we lean on each other, we will get through.”

— with files from Black Press

Ben Kilmer

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Amanda Parsons, a registered nurse on staff at the Northwood Care facility, prepares a dose of the Moderna vaccine in Halifax on Monday, Jan. 11, 2021. Almost two in three Canadians surveyed recently said they trust COVID-19 vaccines to be both safe and effective. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Andrew Vaughan
Northern Health to open 30 COVID vaccine clinics for oldest residents, Indigenous seniors

Health authority says it plans to vaccinate nearly 15,000 people in Phase Two

Alexander Ericksons award-winning piece, The Provider, on display at the Kitimat Museum and Archives (Photo Frieda Design School)
Kitimat Museum and Archives host Freda Diesing school art exhibition

Local Kitimat art exhibition from students of the Freda Diesing School of Northwest Coast Art

Security has been stepped up at both Kitimat General Hospital in Kitimat, pictured here, and at the Mills Memorial Hospital in Terrace. (File photo)
Stillbirth reaction leads to more hospital security

Staff, physicians facing threats and harassment

Workers at Kitimat General Hospital were presented with a large variety of food packages in appreciation of the last year of dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic. The donations came via local Epicurean representative Kerri Weightman who collected money for the purchases. (Jacob Lubberts photo)
Hospital workers receive food donation

Workers at Kitimat General Hospital were presented with a large variety of… Continue reading

(Phil McLachlan/Capital News)
Murder charge laid in February 2020 stabbing death of Smithers man

Michael Egenolf is charged with the second-degree murder of Brodie Cumiskey

Elvira D’Angelo, 92, waits to receive her COVID-19 vaccination shot at a clinic in Montreal, Sunday, March 7, 2021, as the COVID-19 pandemic continues in Canada and around the world. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Graham Hughes
‘It’s been a good week’: Tam hopeful on vaccines as pandemic anniversary nears

Tam says the addition of two new vaccines will help Canadians get immunized faster

Const. Allan Young. Photo: Abbotsford Police Department
Manslaughter charge laid in Nelson death of Abbotsford police officer

Allan Young died after an incident in downtown Nelson last summer

(The Canadian Press)
‘Worse than Sept. 11, SARS and financial crisis combined’: Tourism industry in crisis

Travel services saw the biggest drop in active businesses with 31 per cent fewer firms operating

Pictures and notes in from friends and classmates make up a memorial in support and memory of Aubrey Berry, 4, and her sister Chloe, 6, during a vigil held at Willows Beach in Oak Bay, B.C., on December 30, 2017. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Chad Hipolito
Mother of slain daughters supports recent changes to Canada’s Divorce Act

Sarah Cotton-Elliott said she believed her children took a back seat to arranging equal parenting

Victoria man Brett Andersen is asking for people’s help to secure him one of eight free tickets to the moon. (Screenshot/@brettandersen Instagram)
Victoria man wants your help securing a free ticket to the moon

Japanese billionaire offering eight people a trip to the moon

The Conservation Officers Service is warning aquarium users after invasive and potentially destructive mussels were found in moss balls from a pet store. (BC Conservation Officers Service/Facebook)
Aquarium users in B.C. warned after invasive mussels found at pet store

Conservation officers were told the mussels were found in a moss ball from a Terrace pet store.

Hockey hall-of-fame legend Wayne Gretzky, right, watches the casket of his father, Walter Gretzky, as it is carried from the church during a funeral service in Brantford, Ont., Saturday, March 6, 2021. HE CANADIAN PRESS/Nathan Denette
Walter Gretzky remembered as a man with a ‘heart of gold’ at funeral

The famous hockey father died Thursday at age 82 after battling Parkinson’s disease

Donald Alan Sweet was once an all star CFL kicker who played for the Montreal Alouettes and Montreal Concordes over a 13-year career. Photo courtesy of Mission RCMP.
Ex-B.C. teacher who was CFL kicker charged with assault, sexual crimes against former students

Donald Sweet taught in Mission School District for 10 years, investigators seek further witnesses

Most Read