Angus Macleod’s Christmas stories

He supplied the Sentinel with some alternative Christmas stories

Where Christmas snow comes from!

Long, long. Ago before there was snow, people shared their world with fairies, pixies, dwarves, and elves.

By far the hardest working and happiest of these were elves, because they were in charge of holidays and celebrations like birthdays, and weddings and Easter and Halloween and Valentine’s Day, but the greatest and happiest and busiest of all was Christmas.

Now because elves are always so busy, they don’t like to be bothered with minor stuff like days of the week or the time of day, or everybody having a different name, so everyone in the same family had the same name with a number on the end.

I am now going to tell you the tale of Ralphonse Jedediah Elfkin the 243’rd who was the son of Mr. & Mrs. Ralphonse Jedediah Elfkin the 242nd. All his friends called him Ralph, and everybody called his dad RJ.

Ralph’s dad, RJ, was the chief elf in charge of the Christmas toy factory at the North Pole where all the elves lived, and Ralph’s mom was in charge of all the other stuff that goes with the Christmas season.

Ralph wanted more than anything to work with his dad in the factory, but the elfin law said that you had to be 175 years old before you could work, and Ralph was only 97 years old.

One day, as Christmas fast approached, Ralph was bored, so he decided to go for a walk and explore the Great North Woods, which his parents had told him never to enter alone, but Ralph was looking for adventure, and adventure he would have.

At first, the woods were like a magical kingdom with birds, and flowers and lots of neat stuff, but after a while it started to get cold and all the trees were white with frost.

Ralph was lost and tired, so he decided to lie down and have a short nap and maybe when he woke up, he would find his way home.

Suddenly Ralph heard a voice saying “yo little dude what’s happenin?” Ralph jumped up and saw a tall, skinny blue man with icicles hanging off him everywhere and long white frosty hair. Before he knew it Ralph blurted out: “I’m Ralph and I’m lost and I’m cold and you are blue!’ To which the man replied ‘yo chillin, and you are blue too, hop on my sled and I’ll take ya home.’

When Ralph and the blue man arrived at the elfin village a search party that was led by Ralph’s mom and dad greeted them. All of a sudden, Ralph’s dad, RJ, smiled and said ‘well well if it isn’t old Frosty Jack his own self, I haven’t seen you since the last time and here you are bringing my son home. I’d like you to meet my wife, Mrs. Ralphonse Jedediah Elfkin the 242”d.’ To which Jack Frost took off his hat, bowed and said ‘chilled I’m sure.’

There was an immediate celebration of Ralph’s safe return to his family but Ralph was still as blue as the sky. From out of nowhere the greatest and jolliest and happiest elf of all appeared wearing a bright red suit trimmed with white fur, and wherever he was, the air sparkled all around him.

Jack Frost nudged Ralph and said “yo dude, check the roly-poly with the sparkles – far out man!” At first Ralph was shocked that someone would say that about Santa and then he smiled and said: “Roly-poly-haw!”

Suddenly Ralph was laughing so hard that great tears of joy were streaming down his cheeks – except they weren’t tears, they were snowflakes!

Then the real magic started – the whole crowd of elves were laughing so hard they all started crying snowflakes.

Now whenever it snows, that means the elves at the North Pole are laughing!

The Original Christmas

Before there was snow, Santa would deliver Christmas presents and toys by riding on a wagon which was pulled by four big fuzzy brown bears.

Their nan1es were Billy-Bob, Brian-Bob, Bobby-Bob and Barry-Bob. Everything was fine and dandy until one day something magical happened.

A young elfin pup by the name of Ralphonse Jedediah Elfkin the 243rd created snow!

When Santa’s elves hitched the four bear brothers to the wagon that fateful Christmas Eve, nothing happened!

The bears were too tired and sleepy to pull the wagon, and besides the wheels were stuck fast in the snow.

The elves didn’t know what to do, so they went to the one person they could think of who could solve this dilemma – that’s right, they went straight away to Molly by Golly, the one and only Mrs. Santa Claus.

When Molly by Golly heard the problem she said: “Ok, what you have to do is get some reindeer, because they are big and strong”. When she heard about the wagon wheels being stuck as well she said: “Ok what the hey, use a sleigh”.

But when the elves hitched the reindeer to the sleigh the reindeer started to argue about who should be first, and who was the strongest.

So then the elves tried to hitch a bunch of reindeer girls to the sleigh, but the girls said the prettiest should go first and every one of them thought they were the prettiest.

Off the elves went straightaway back to Molly by Golly and they told her the problem. That’s when Molly by Golly said: “Aw jelly beans what you have to do is take four boy reindeer and four girl reindeer – that way they’ll all get along tickety-boo”.

When the reindeer were hitched to the sleigh, and the sleigh was finally loaded with toys and presents, Christmas morning was just about here.

Molly by Golly saw there wasn’t much time so she called on her two good friends to help, and when Molly by Golly and Two Tall Tina and Sister Kate got together there was no stopping the Sparklers!

The Sparklers started flying all around the reindeer and the sleigh and as they flew they started shining and shaking a very special magical kind of pixie dust all over the reindeer and the sleigh.

That is how come reindeer know how to fly, but only on Christmas Eve.

My name is CJ Frost, and I know this story is true because I say so!

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